Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize