I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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