can u get pink eye on your cock?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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