come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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