i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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