it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
