I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
