I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I am mentally ready for anal.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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