New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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