my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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