Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
