he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
