READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
