I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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