i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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