the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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