This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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