Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
