Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
