your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
