in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
