This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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