i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
