I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize