well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.