you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.