How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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