Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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