Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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