he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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