At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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