remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
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I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
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But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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