She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
