Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
