Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
