Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
