you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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