Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think my fart just growled at me.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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