she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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