I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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