I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
