Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
