sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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