May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
