So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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