i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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