there was a trapeze. enough said
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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