when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This is the high leading the old right now
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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