just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
