"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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