Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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