The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
