Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
