If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
