So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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