the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize