Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin

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(716): View more from New York

my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes

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(407): View more from Florida

I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."

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(305): View more from Florida

After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.

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