i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
