I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
