I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
and she was petting her beer can
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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