Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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